Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with.
If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain: Is too loyal to their irritating, family doesn’t share their views on the layout of the living room, Never wants to go on camping holidays, Plays tennis every Wednesday evening no matter what, Doesn’t like Moroccan food, Doesn’t share their enthusiasm for 19th century Russian novels, Has a habit of adding ‘actually’ to every second sentence, when it’s actually redundant.
As the list gets longer, they sigh; they still love their partner and long to be happy together, it’s just that it seems impossibly complicated to make this relationship work. What’s driving the frustration isn’t that they’ve sadly fallen for an idiot as a mate; it’s rather that we have all inherited needlessly complicated ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be for.
We are told that love is meant to involve the almost total merger of two lives: we expect that a loving couple must live in the same house, eat the same meals together every night, share the same bed, go to sleep and get up at the same time; only ever have sex with (or even sexual thoughts about) each other, regularly see each others’ families, have all their friends in common – and pretty much think the same thoughts on every topic at every moment.
It’s a beautiful vision, but a hellish one too, for it places an impossibly punitive burden of expectation on another human. We feel the partner must be right for us in every way, and if they’re not, has to be prodded and cajoled into reform. But there’s another perspective: relationships don’t have to be so complicated and ambitious if we keep in view what in the end actually makes them fulfilling.
If we boil matters down, there might really just be three essential things we want from one another:
Kindness: a partner who is gentle with our imperfections and can good-humouredly tolerate us as we are.
Shared vulnerability: someone with whom we can be open about our anxieties, worries and the problems that throw us off balance: someone we don’t have to put on a good front for; someone around whom we can be weak, vulnerable and honest – and who will be the same around us.
Understanding: someone who is interested in, and can make sense of, certain obscure features of our minds: our obsessions, preoccupations and ways of seeing the world. And whom we are excited to understand in turn.
If we have these three critical ingredients to hand, we will feel loved and essentially satisfied whatever differences then crop up in a hundred other areas. Perhaps our partner’s friends or routines won’t be a delight, but we will be content.
Just as if we lack these emotional goods, and yet agree on every detail of European literature, interior design and social existence, we are still likely to feel lonely and bereft. By limiting what we expect a relationship to be about, we can overcome the tyranny and bad temper that bedevils so many lovers.
A good, simpler – yet very fulfilling – relationship could end up in a minimal state: we might not socialise much together. We might hardly ever encounter each other’s families. Our finances might overlap only at a few points.
We could be living in different places and only meet up twice a week. Conceivably we might not even ask too many questions about each other’s sex life. But when we would be together it would be profoundly gratifying, because we would be in the presence of someone who knew how to be kind, vulnerable and understanding.
A bond between two people can be deep and important precisely because it is not played out across all practical details of existence.
By simplifying – and clarifying – what a relationship is for we release ourselves from overly complicated conflicts – and can focus on our urgent underlying needs to be sympathised with, seen and understood.
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5 Reasons You Must Attend Lockdown With TOE Comedy Show This December
Unwinding from the “shege”, “shege banza” and “damboroba shege” most of us have experienced this year is a logical thing to do before switching to another year.
In case you don’t know, Tobi Omo Elegbede, one of the most sought after comedian and entertainers in the Gateway state will be staging the “Shege Edition” of his annual Lockdown With TOE Comedy show.
At Sauce.NG we’ve compiled 5 solid reasons you must attend the show if you really want to have a fun-filled December. Let’s Go!!
1. Stage Drama
A lot are in stock for fans ahead of Lockdown With Toe “Shege Edition”. Organizers have dropped hints about series of stage comedy skits specifically packaged for fans at the events.
Tobi Elegbede and other comedians are not only coming to crack jokes, they are coming with drama and action packed comedy performances. Trust me, you don’t want to miss the fun and excitement.
2. Exciting Musical Performances
What’s a comedy show without musical performances to spice things up? Lockdown With Toe Shege Edition will feature appearances of some talented musical artistes who will be gracing the stage to exhibit their showmanship by performing some dope tracks for your delight.
A comedy show with a sprinkle of musical ingredients is what you’d experience come December 18th at OOPL Abeokuta.
3. Fun With Nollywood Stars
It will interest you to know that Tobi Elegbede is not just a comedian but an all-round entertainer. He’s been involved in a good number of Nollywood movies that are doing well on YouTube and Nigerian movie market at large.
Trust a Tobi Elegbede comedy show to be star-studded with Nollywood favourites. The likes of Alebiosu, Feranmi Oyalowo, Lekan Olatunji, Joke Muyiwa, Baba Eleso and many others have all promised to turn up at Lockdown With Toe Comedy Show.
This could be your only chance to party and have fun with your favorite Nollywood actors and actresses. Just go get your tickets.
4. Funny And Creative Comedy Performances
It’s never going to be a dull moment on Lockdown with Toe comedy show, you know why? There are lots of talented comedians already set to put up some rib-cracking performances at the show.
Do you really want to laugh and forget all the Shege that has happened to you this year? Then December 18th, OOPL is the place you should be for Tobi Elegbede’s show.
Don’t worry, laugh go wan kill you as Pastor Remote, Koye Comedian, Da Preacher, Bishop Comedian, Creative Toby, Mc Sekere, Mc Ace, Deji Comedian and a host of others will be delivering back-to-back exciting performances at the event.
5. Adequate Security
Lockdown with Toe is going to be held in one of the biggest and safest hub of fun and entertainment in Abeokuta, OOPL.
Asides this, efforts have been made by the organizers of the show to provide extra security at the event for the safety of all the attendees.
At Lockdown With Toe comedy show everyone is going to be in the safe hands of expert security personnels who will be on standby at the event.
Lockdown with Toe “Shege Edition” is coming up live at The Marquee Hall OOPL Abeokuta on December 18 2022.
The show promises to be lit from start to finish. Read More About The Show HereFollow Us On Social Media 👇
Black Panther Shares 5 Connections And Influences With Nigeria
There have been many conversations about Black Panther Wakanda Forever since its theatrical release.
The film has provided endless conversation opportunities, from discussions about its themes and tropes to its connection to Phase 5 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to the homages it makes to African cultures to discussions about the movie’s overall message.
It is an eye-opener for any African to see the cinemas and not the brutality that has been shown on the silver screen.
For a long time, Hollywood has forced the world to believe that western history is all it has ever told. This is sometimes seen in the themes of online casino games NetBet. When Hollywood attempts to reach other cultures, these projects are plagued with misrepresentation or exaggerated depravity, or understated decency.
Black Panther is one exception that shows the creative side of Africa, which has been sorely misrepresented by the media.
The movie depicts a fictional kingdom called Wakanda, which is made up of many African tribes with their own identities. Everything, from music and costume to set design and language, has strong African influences.
Here are five connections that Black Panther shares Nigerian influence and connections:-
Mbaku’s accent: In an interview with Winston Duke, the actor playing M’Baku (the leader of Jabari tribe), the actor admitted that he had taken his accent inspiration from the Igbo tribe of Nigeria. He also mentioned that the Igbo tribe had a strong influence on the Jabaris.
Kokou: This Yoruba god is one of the African gods mentioned in the movie. Kokou, a fearsome warrior deity of the Yoruba faith found in West Africa’s Benin, is mentioned. This deity is the only non-Egyptian one mentioned in the movie.
General Okoye: While the African characters of the movie are from Wakanda but they still have names that resemble actual African names.
General Okoye, an Igbo name, can be translated to mean “born on Oye market days”. Oye, or Orie, in some Igbo languages, is one of four market days that make the Igbo calendar. It also includes Eke, Afor and Nkwo.
Inscriptions by Nsibidi: Just like the costumes and names in Black Panther, the set design is based on real African cultures.
One particular Wakanda text, found in the movie’s throne room, has inscriptions from Nigeria’s Southeast region. The cross-River state is where the origins of the Nsibidi inscriptions are.
Playlist: The original Black Panther installment featured a playlist created exclusively by Kendrick Lamar.
Black Panther 2’s playlist featured songs by many Nigerian artists including Tems, Rema, and Fat Nwigwe.
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