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The Three Major Requirements Of A Good Relationship

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Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with.

If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain: Is too loyal to their irritating, family doesn’t share their views on the layout of the living room, Never wants to go on camping holidays, Plays tennis every Wednesday evening no matter what, Doesn’t like Moroccan food, Doesn’t share their enthusiasm for 19th century Russian novels, Has a habit of adding ‘actually’ to every second sentence, when it’s actually redundant.

As the list gets longer, they sigh; they still love their partner and long to be happy together, it’s just that it seems impossibly complicated to make this relationship work. What’s driving the frustration isn’t that they’ve sadly fallen for an idiot as a mate; it’s rather that we have all inherited needlessly complicated ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be for.

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We are told that love is meant to involve the almost total merger of two lives: we expect that a loving couple must live in the same house, eat the same meals together every night, share the same bed, go to sleep and get up at the same time; only ever have sex with (or even sexual thoughts about) each other, regularly see each others’ families, have all their friends in common – and pretty much think the same thoughts on every topic at every moment.

It’s a beautiful vision, but a hellish one too, for it places an impossibly punitive burden of expectation on another human. We feel the partner must be right for us in every way, and if they’re not, has to be prodded and cajoled into reform. But there’s another perspective: relationships don’t have to be so complicated and ambitious if we keep in view what in the end actually makes them fulfilling.

If we boil matters down, there might really just be three essential things we want from one another:

Kindness: a partner who is gentle with our imperfections and can good-humouredly tolerate us as we are.

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Shared vulnerability: someone with whom we can be open about our anxieties, worries and the problems that throw us off balance: someone we don’t have to put on a good front for; someone around whom we can be weak, vulnerable and honest – and who will be the same around us.

Understanding: someone who is interested in, and can make sense of, certain obscure features of our minds: our obsessions, preoccupations and ways of seeing the world. And whom we are excited to understand in turn.

If we have these three critical ingredients to hand, we will feel loved and essentially satisfied whatever differences then crop up in a hundred other areas. Perhaps our partner’s friends or routines won’t be a delight, but we will be content.

Just as if we lack these emotional goods, and yet agree on every detail of European literature, interior design and social existence, we are still likely to feel lonely and bereft. By limiting what we expect a relationship to be about, we can overcome the tyranny and bad temper that bedevils so many lovers.

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A good, simpler – yet very fulfilling – relationship could end up in a minimal state: we might not socialise much together. We might hardly ever encounter each other’s families. Our finances might overlap only at a few points.

We could be living in different places and only meet up twice a week. Conceivably we might not even ask too many questions about each other’s sex life. But when we would be together it would be profoundly gratifying, because we would be in the presence of someone who knew how to be kind, vulnerable and understanding.

A bond between two people can be deep and important precisely because it is not played out across all practical details of existence.

By simplifying – and clarifying – what a relationship is for we release ourselves from overly complicated conflicts – and can focus on our urgent underlying needs to be sympathised with, seen and understood.

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TIKTOK: A Social Media Platform Turning Everyone To Immature Unthinking Idiot (A MUST READ)

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Gone are the days when teenagers pay attention to becoming something meaningful in future.

The days when teenagers and adults want to play a little while focusing on the good future they want to build for themselves.

In recent times, we’ve got a social media platform that is designed with sinister programming technique such that turns anyone to an immature unthinking idiot.

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For anyone who consumes content very well on TikTok, you’d agree that the platform has an interface that can hijack whatever you’re doing or thinking before you launch the app.

The app takes all your data and feeds you with contents that practically get you glued to the app. Millions of people especially Teenagers are now addicted to social media platform.

It’s scary the way young people now invest in buying cameras, big phones, ring light and microphone just to be dancing or saying funny things online.

It’s funny how everyone is now a content creator on TikTok. Whether you’re miming sounds, talking and dancing shits, TikTok has a way of rewarding everyone with likes and comments freely.

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TikTok For Creators

Their algorithm will keep encouraging you to do more. They feed your contents to people who are likely to be interested in what you’re doing and that the power of the “For You Page”.

To make the matter worse, people now make huge money on the platform and that will sound like a good thing but the truth is, TikTok only pay creators stipends from the huge money they make from selling out people’s data to third party.

TikTok’s Evil Of Data Sharing

The way TikTok handles data of it’s users is not like other social media platforms. No platform gives out user data than TikTok. For TikTok, data is a huge treasure. The app is even capable of collecting your data when you’re outside the app.

Think of Tiktok on your phone like Big Brother and Housemates relationships in the BBNaija House.

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“Big Brother Is Always Watching You”.. Lol!!

Data collection capacity of TikTok has made the platform so powerful that they can sell anything to you, control your thinking and track all your moves.

Effect Of TikTok On Other Social Media Platforms

TikTok is giving other social media platforms a good chase. The advent of TikTok has forced the likes of Instagram and YouTube to introduce reels and shorts respectively.

Thereby making those platforms cumbersome and lot loaded with too much features. Meanwhile, it’s quite funny the way people still post TikTok contents on the IG reels and YouTube shorts.

This presupposes that, TikTok still owns the power, IG and YouTube just created a funnel to allow their users still come back to their platforms after using TikTok.

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Final Thoughts

The essence of this article is not to condemn TikTok in its total sense but the platform needs to be regulated before things get out of hand.

If you’re using TikTok to find a specific kinds of information, TikTok will bombard you with lots of contents from that niche to a point that it comes very addictive and you don’t want to leave.

TikTok is more like consuming cocaine, you get high and never want to stop. This is not too cool for the future of this generation who are much more interested in pleasure than meaningful information.

TikTok is doing more harm than good to the world.

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Top 10 Highest Paid Football Stars After Mohammed Salah Pens New Liverpool Deal

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Mohammed Salah has inevitably shot up the ranks in the enviable list of highest-earning football stars in world football today.

The 30-year-old Liverpool forward put all transfer speculations to bed on Friday, July 1 when he put pen on paper in a new three-year deal with Liverpool.

Liverpool were overly determined to keep Salah, having already lost Sadio Mane to Bayern Munich weeks earlier.

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In truth, Salah deserved a new deal as he has been a revelation since moving from Roma to Anfield in 2017.

At Liverpool, he has managed to score an impressive 156 goals in 254 games, winning huge pieces of silverware along the way.

While his new deal entails Salah earning something in the region of £400,000 a week, he is still miles behind the highest earner in football – Kylian Mbappe.

Daily Mail recently released a list of the highest-earning football stars, and it is an interesting one.

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See Below:-

10. Robert Lewandowski, Bayern Munich – £350,000-a-week

9. Antoine Griezmann, Atletico Madrid (on loan from Barcelona) – £356,000-a-week

=7. David De Gea, Manchester United – £375,000-a-week

=7. Erling Haaland, Manchester City – £375,000-a-week

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=5. Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United – £385,000-a-week

=5. Kevin De Bruyne, Manchester CIty – £385,000-a-week

4. Mohamed Salah, Liverpool – £400,000-a-week

3. Neymar, Paris Saint-Germain, £606,000-a-week

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2. Lionel Messi, Paris Saint-Germain – £960,000-a-week

1. Kylian Mbappe, Paris Saint-Germain – £1,000,000-a-week

Notably, four players – David De gea, Erling Haalahd, Kevin de Bruyne and Cristiano Ronaldo earn near-similar wages.

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Common Red Flags In Relationships You Shouldn’t Ignore (WATCH VIDEO)

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In relationships, there are non-negotiable red flags people often ignore.

In most cases, people’s minds and emotions get clouded with the need to be in love that they often decide to manage to cope with some Red-Flags behaviour of their partners.

Today on Family Life With Adeola, we shall be talking about relationship red-flags no one should ignore in relationships.

You will learn a lot from this. Drag a seat and Enjoy!!

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4 Reasons Gabriel Jesus Will Be A Perfect Addition To Arsenal Team

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Gabriel Jesus is no doubt going to be a big addition to the current Arsenal Squad.

Owning to the fact that Alexandra Lacazette has bid farewell to the club after contributing to their attacking play during his spell at the club, Eddie Nktetia who has improved so much cannot be totally relied upon.

However, one young striker wouldn’t be enough to give Arsenal the needed results they are looking forward to next season. Based on recent reports, there is already a verbal agreement for Gabriel to join Arsenal despite advances from Tottenham.

Even though, Gabriel Jesus didn’t make starting line-up for most of his time at Man City, his quality upfront still remain solid. He still remains the Striker, Pep Guardiola can rely on for goals.

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Meanwhile, here are 5 reasons why Gabriel Jesus will be a good addition to the Arsenal Team:-

1. He Has Good Pace

Gabriel Jesus is a utility striker with all qualities of attacking player inherent in him. His pace can compliment that of other young players at Arsenal.

2. He Can Adapt To Arsenal Style

Arsenal has a special style of team football and link-up play. A striker like Gabriel Jesus can adapt well in the Arteta’s team. No wonder the Arsenal coach is so much interested in him.

Although, Gabriel Jesus is a goal scorer but he is not a selfish striker. If Gabriel is not scoring too much goals at Arsenal, he’d be getting a lot of assists.

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3. He Is Strong

In big games that require strength and technical input, Gabriel Jesus will be the perfect guy for Arsenal upfront. The major reason why Arsenal don’t shine in big matches is because of strength and experiences existing at the big clubs.

With Gabriel Jesus at Arsenal, his strenght can match that of any defender in the Premier League. He is going to be like another Alexis Sanchez upfront for Arsenal.

4. He Can Dribble And Take On Defenders

As a Brazilian attacking player that uses both legs well, he has the technical ability and intelligence to get at the back of defenders.

With his dribbling ability, he can do something extra-ordinary on the pitch and that’s what Arsenal needs.

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Watch Best Of Gabriel Jesus Below:-

Do You Think Gabriel Jesus Will Be A Good Addition To The Arsenal Team?

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